He Walks!!

On October 26 we had a babysitter hang out with the boys. Andy and I attended a little gathering to celebrate the soon to be nuptuals of a Naval Academy classmate of his. A week later, Alex was shocking/surprising this very same babysitter with his amazing new act: WALKING! Below is a video I shot, about two months ago - and of course never got around to posting on this blog because that would require me to sit at a computer and actually compose something relatively coherent (yes! Its true! I do attempt to be relatively coherent, although that is desparately out of character for me. Not to mention a lot of work. But, dear reader, you are worth it)

Alex and his amazing walking chili pot! I call this his "Halleluah moment" When he, in the middle of pushing something, or free form standing (ie: not holding on to anything) lifts his arms up to the sky and tilts his head back as if to say, "Halleluah brothers & sisters!!!"

This handy dandy contraption, known as the blue,red and yellow trike (Ian's name/description for it) was purchased around the time Ian seemed to be interested in walking. Its nice, because the child can pull himself up, hold on to the back dohickie handle and PUSH. Alex was pushing this around while on his knees (ok. So I tried doing this and maybe its just because I am much much larger than Alex, but dang. That hurts! walking on your knees!! Give it a try. Also, try crawling. That is also rough on the knees. Maybe its just because I am old.)

Alex also climbs (as you can see on this also roughly two month old video) on the seat and pushes himself around- not very well, as walls and chairs and things tend to frustrate his and his forward motion. He has, figured out how to go backwards too- which is much easier to do. And of course, the piece de resistance:

Ian and Alex both started walking the week of Halloween. Ian in '06 and Alex, '08.

And now, some random pictures of boysies and maybe Andy and I if I find something decent:

Taken at the place called Cox Farms. It is required, here in the 'burbs of Washington DC, that you take your child to a "Pumpkin festival" where they charge you are LOT of money to go in and see small animals trapped in cages, moonbounces, and ride slides. Also, cheesy! This place tho' is quite fun and has some pretty cool and amazing slides. This one is a volcano..and yes, I came down right behind Ian! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe

Alex is not so sure hay sitting is for him

Its mine. I found it. mineminemineminemine. Um. What is it?

Fun on, um, whatever this is!

And, since I cannot possibly leave this blog without making mention of SOMEONE's bowels. Here he is, trying to squeeze a pumpkin out apparently. Check out that face!

And lastly, a video of "My interview with Ian"

Alex turn's one OR Alexander's really horrible, poopy, crappy, day!

Alex on the day he was born. A wee bit camera shy!

Dear Alex,

You turned one whole year old this month! And to celebrate, you get a trip to the Emergency Room. We were hoping to hold of on this sort of adventure until you were older and falling out of trees and such. But you, being the “go-your-own-way” sort of person you are, had to do this sooner. Please don’t think I am making fun of this. After I hung up the phone with your Daddy, I cried. Partly due to guilt: I had toyed with the idea of taking you there myself two days ago, but decided I was being overly alarmist, plus we had seen your doctor. And then I yelled at you last night because the hours of screaming (by you) had worn me down in a not so good way. And then I cried too. I wasn’t going to hurt you, or me; I was just exhausted as were you. Good thing Daddy loves us both.

Alexander about 2 weeks old

I should have listened to my inner voice and just gone to the ER. I am sure this is a mantra your Daddy and I will have for the rest of your life. Go with your gut. This is my first piece of advice to you. Sometimes your brain spends too much time thinking about things, analyzing, replaying, positing ‘what-ifs’, when really, your brain needs to shut the heck up and your gut needs to take over.

The ladies say I have a certain j'nais ce quois!

Unfortunately, whether it was intended or not, my take away message as a child was, you don’t go to doctors (or, heaven forbid a hospital) unless there is lots of blood (and then it depends on how much is “lots”) AND an appendage is lying on the floor and cannot be replaced via the use of staples or duct tape. We are sorry. It’s not our fault. Personally, my own recollections of visiting doctors as a child are vague. I remember falling off the monkey bars and having to go to the hospital for stitches. After that, I’m not really sure I ever saw a doctor again, except for the orthodontist. Your father on the other hand spent a great deal of time falling off of and out of things and in the emergency room having appendages placed in casts. Your Grandma Mimi once joked that had she taken your father to the ER as many times as she did then, now, she is certain Social Services would have paid her a visit.

Babies are the most exhausting (no, not exhausted, but exhausting) things on earth. Alex snuggles with Daddy.

Digression Alert!: I took myself to an eye doctor when I was a freshman in college. I realized something was wrong while sitting in Psychology 101. It was an enormous auditorium type classroom, there were probably 400 (not kidding. Really) or so of us freshman in the class. I sat in the back because it was sooooo booooooring. Dr. Barry. He was the professor. He was a wizened little man, about a million years old and probably dead (he also probably never went to a doctor but should have. This would have been the conversation his doctor would have had with him,: “Well Dr. Barry, based on my exam, you are clinically dead. Perhaps you should retire now”). Dr. Barry would read to us aloud, from the text book. I sat in the back of the class so I could nap (it was, after all, an 8 am class). The entire class would have sat in the back if there were enough seats. At some point in the semester tho’ it occurred to me, I couldn’t see the blackboard when occasionally, Dr. Barry would stir to life, turn around and write something, possibly useful, on the blackboard. My freshman addled mind finally determined that I needed to see an eye doctor, who said, “gee. I hope you didn’t drive here”. Anyway…

I love my bucket! not so much all the fleece you have surrounded me in. Heck! Its NORTHERN VA!! I never gets like, cold here.

Guts. This is the real problem. And, again, it seems like I am making fun, but really I am not. You went to the ER due to some pretty severe constipation. Through the tears, there really is humor here. Years from now we will laugh about this. Right now, I will reach for another Kleenex and beat myself up for being the worst mother in the whole wide world.

My birthday letter to you has turned to poop in more ways that one.

Your arrival and existence merely brings home the point that, as adults, we really have no idea what we are doing. Security is just an illusion. We go through our days thinking if we look both ways, if we use our turn signal, if we take our vitamins, if we go to the doctor, everything will be okay. Well things go wrong, and decisions get made and well, perhaps they were not the best thought out decisions.

That hat, however, was a FAB-U-LOUS fashion decision!

As you are reading this you are probably thinking, geez mommy, get to the point (actually Alex you are probably trying to chew on the monitor and are getting a kick out of pounding on the key board) So the point is, we love you Alexander! Your first year has brought many smiles, much joy, and new adventures to our lives. We are so glad you joined us. Now, eat your veggies, your fruit and take your laxative in your juice and let’s bring in year number #2 (HA! #2! HA! Get it?!?! Get it?!?!) without the extra excitement of a trip to the hospital! I was thinking more along the lines of a party, with cake!

Happy Birthday Alexander Salamander!

What I did on My Summer Vacation or SERENITY NOW!

Alex having a good time on a bench. Please note the lovely Blue Ridge, or possibly Shenandoah Mountains behind him. Yes. I should know which they are. And no. I don't know. Its been two weeks. We are still recovering from our vacation.

We went on vacation. Yes! Like away. Somewhere else, other than here! We loaded up 2 small boys, one medium sized dog, and about 500 random bags of stuff, plus a stroller and the poorly named "pack n' play" (this, for the uninitiated is an allegedly PORTABLE crib- which weighs approximately 200 lbs, is about as portable as an elephant and packs up just as easily. It was obviously someone's idea as a joke. I am guessing the manufacturer of said device are people clearly do not have children themselves, or have ever actually used the products they sell- fortunately the Pack N'Play was a gift, so while I may sound bitter, I am not really complaining. No. Really.)



I'm not sure why were thought it was a good idea to take a vacation other than we have not really had one in a long time. And, we reasoned, we know lots of people with small children,
younger than our own who go on vacations all the time! We figured it could be done. HAHAHAHAHA. We now assume these so called "friends" have not been telling everything.



We drove to our nice little cabin in the woods, outside of Crozet, VA (which is outside of Charlottesville VA- home of Univeristy of Virginia) It was a tiny two bedroom cabin with a tiny kitchen, living area and a bathroom. Here are some highlights of the grand event:

• Sitting in the bathroom and realizing if I bent my head over and stretched out my legs I could pretty much take a shower!

• Realizing that my hair looks exactly the same whether I wash it at night and go to bed with it wet, as it does if I wash it in the morning and let it dry, unsmooshed on a pillow. Not sure this is good or bad, but it is certainly convenient.

• A slamming screen door.

• Watching Alexander realize he could open the slamming screen door and leave. Watching Alexander leave the cabin, through the screen door; nothing but his little butt sashaying out, waving as if to say, "see ya!".

• Having a little trail to walk down to get to the pond and every morning, going to the lake, with Ian in his PJs so we could throw rocks into the water, look at little fishes and check out the flowers that opened only in the morning on the lilly pads.

• Ian, pointing out every single time we walked down the trail that there were tree roots and he was gonna stand on them.

• Getting our life jackets on, getting Ian in the canoe, pushing it into the water, climbing aboard to only have Ian, start to scream, "I WANNAGETOOOOOUT".

• being in the middle of the lake, in a canoe with Ian screaming, "IWANNNAAAGEEETOOOOOOOOOOUT"

• Ian, dropping trou at the canoe spot, right there, by the road, to pee. Mommy advising that peeing downhill was better than peeing uphill (that way it won't run back on to/in to your shoes. This is good advice that my parents never shared with me and I had to learn the hard way).

• Nobody taking their much needed afternoon naps (this does not include the parents, who never get to take an afternoon nap)

• Ian racing out of cabin, running to the bottom step of the porch, dropping trou, thrusting out hips and peeing with great abandon. Hey! why use a bathroom when you have mothernature?
• The Great Meltdown day, where after three days of NO AFTERNOON NAPS, small children spend the time, roughly between 3-6:30pm whining and CRYING OVER EVERY LAST LITTLE THING; also screaming and gnashing of teeth (mostly us, gnashing our teeth).

• Woody, really really really really really really wishing we had just left him at a kennel.

• Driving to Charlottesville (about a 1/2 hour) to a camera store to figure out WHY our camera was not working. Having the young fellow at the store figure it out and not charge us; also watching a train, while we sat in the car in the parking lot waiting for Andy, go by. It was approx. 500 million degrees out that day.

• Then sitting in another hot parking lot at some random vet's office, while Andy went in to buy flea/tick and heartworm medicine , because we left Woody's at home and he was due for his dose and we were in the woods SURROUNDED by fleas and ticks. This took approx. 100 hours because the lady insisted on signing Woody up as a new patient and she was really really nice as everyone in Central VA is, but slow as molasses and OHMYGOD JUST SELL US THE MEDICATION NOW!!!! Seriously. We promise not to snort it.

• Putting boys to bed at 6:30pm, cracking a few brewskis, and listening to them laughing hysterically and thumping for 45 minutes until silence fell (we have no idea what the thumping was, we did not want to know).

• Speaking of silence... During the day, we would hear the usual sounds of nature. Cicadas droning lazily in the trees; the occassional dog barking; the lowing of cows from an adjacent farm. But, it is a myth that nature is full of silence. At night a gazillion chirping, croaking, droning insects/varmits were partying outside our cabin. As if someone took a recording of every insect that makes a noise, placed the amplifier outside, cranked it to "11"** and let it rip. Holy cow. Glad we had a bathroom inside.

• Learning the hard way that one really must shake out their running clothes and shoes or towels, if one left them hanging over the porch rail outside over night to ensure all SPIDERS were no longer hiding in them.

• Running on some butt kicking hills, in the cool of the morning, in the middle of nowhere (and flushing out the deer) on dirt roads!

• The Great Illness. Contracting malaria/dengue fever/unknown parasitic disease that caused headache, chills, sweats, and body aches. It lasted two days and someone needed to just shoot me, but we were on vacation dammit and we were gonna have a good time no matter what and Maria get up off the floor what ARE you doing?

Ian sitting in a race car at Ruby's house (Ruby was the lovely lady who cleaned cabins and helped out the owners of the place where we stayed)

• Sleeping on a bed that was so incredibly uncomfortable (only on one side, mine, I discovered, when the last night I slept on the other side and said, THIS IS NOT FAIR) that I did not get one decent night sleep the whole time, my back and shoulder hurt and of course I contracted malaria/dengue fever as well.

• Having to give both boys baths, in the shower because there was no tub. Alex was fine for the most part, but omigod, you would have thought Ian was being beaten with a stick. He hates the shower. We kept waiting for the county sheriff to arrive to see what the problem was.
  
• Realizing by day four that EVERYONE in EVERY cabin could probably hear the screaming and crying coming from our cabin because it was: shower time, Alex was looking in the general direction of Ian's trains (this usually sets off much moaning and hysteria), or no one napped and this is what happens when no one naps. We are certain the pleasant couple in the A-frame near us were never going to have children and it was all thanks to us.

• Wishing at times that WE were the couple in the A-frame nearby, with no children and a large cooler of beer.

• Discovering on the very last day the Children's Discovery Museam in downtown Charlottesville. It was a totally hands on place, with stuff to play with and run around and it was air conditioned and like heaven for parents. If only they had a babysitting service (or as Andy said, a bar) it would have been PERFECT. (the nice volunteer, with no sense of humor, said of couse they do not have babysitting [um, hello! I was JOKING] because this is a MUSEUM. Note to volunteer: This ain't NO museum woman. Museums are full of interesting historical items. This had a Thomas the Tank Engine tracks, building blocks, a realy cool thing that involved balls, lifts and tubes, and other things, but it was NOT a museum regardless of the title) We loved this place. It even had a room just for people Alex's age. We all loved this place. Except Woody.

• Getting my revenge when Andy fell sick on the drive home and spent the next two days with chills, sweat, and body aches HA! REVENGE IS MINE. Of course he got to be sick at home AND I ended up unpacking everything myself. He sux.

If I ever get around to it I will post more pictures on Flickr, but don't hold your breath, all these time saving websites take a really really long time to set up.

Thus endeth the vacation. Now I am totally out of vacation time and boy, could I REALLY use a vacation :-)

Big Boy Panties

Dear Ian,

Its been three years now, since you joined our family. And hooo boy, where do I start? We've watched you go from being a sack of potatoes, to rolling, crawling, scooting, standing, pushing, walking, running, climbing. One day you were just a little guy pushing around your trike to a big boy, riding a trike (well, okay. You sit on it. You push the pedals only so far and then steer into parked cars- don't worry. Soon enough you will be pedaling like a champ, making ramps out of random pieces of plywood you steal from construction sites and start jumping over your little brother just like Evel Knevil.)


What can I say. We had no idea how empty our lives were..no. wait! Not empty. But how much free time we had! My goodness. If only we knew what we were in for, we would have planned better. All those half completed do-it-yourself projects would have been done. But now. Well, now they don't seem so important. The house is more rustic that way. Rustic is in vogue. Shabby chic. Its our style. Mainly because there are more important things to do. Like read books about dinosaurs and little Chinese boys and the alphabet and about bunnies and counting and Curious George. There are trains to play with and lego things to build!




Now our time is better spent with you (and your little brother). It is spent laughing at silly things, and learning how to pee in the potty (well, sure if you want to spell your name in the toilet go for it, but just wait until winter, when it snows! Spelling your name is far more satisfying then) and saying please and thank you. And giving mommy a kiss when she is laying on the couch because her head is killing her; and you offer her a kiss. All by yourself. With no prompting from anyone. Its sharing our toys with your little brother ("but not the cars," you say. "they have little parts. Could hurt Alex") Its tantrums and not wanting to eat your dinner or take a bath or go to bed.



Its about hearing our own words coming back to us, in your voice:


"No goofing off"

"Five more minutes"

"Its a big honkin' poo!!" (yes, we are slightly obssessed with our bowels)

"I don't wanna get smooshed by a car"

"First things first"

"what do you say when you burp Ian?"- "Cockadoodledooooo!" (For the record, we did not teach him that, he thought that one up on his own. To which Andy snorted water up his nose and almost drowned laughing)

Its about time. And how it seems to be moving too fast. How our baby has become a little boy and how it won't stop. When you were just a wee baby, strangers would come up to me and coo at you. There would always be one (and always a woman) who would say, Enjoy this time with your baby!! I would always resist the urge to slap them because I hated that phrase "enjoy this time with your baby". It rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe because I was tired and felt out of my element most of the time. Babies? What did I know of babies. Nothing. There is no owner's manual. They just pop out - fine, they don't just "pop" out. But once they are out, there they are. Looking at you for guidance and care and feeding and being fussy and crying and seeming to not notice you at all.

But looking back, I think I know what those women were trying to say. I'm not sure there is even a good word for it. One day our little bald, drooling, chubby person smiled at us, that toothless pure joy of a smile and it was then, we finally understood.

So Ian, while you are now three and struggling to be your own person, be independent of mommy and daddy; we will never forget that first smile, that first laugh.

Happy birthday little man!!

Party on dudes!

D'Alexander Da Great!

The Alexander Action Video!

I've been meaning to post for the last month, but as usual, I am overcome by events most days. This is a euphenism for "too-darn-bloody-tired-every-single-darn-night-to-bother-posting-'cause-I-fall-asleep-on-the-couch-minutes-after-Ian-goes-to-bed-at-8-pm". I ought to turn this blog over to Andy because he can stay up to the wee hours of 10 pm! He's amazing!

As you probably gathered this post is about Alexander. Our little peanut is growing leaps and bounds. And all I can say is, Wow! Its amazing. Its true, we went through this with Ian, but you forget stuff. You truly do. You have to forget stuff or else you:

A) would never have children ever again if you truly truly remembered pregnancy, birth and the first three months

B) um, hmmm..

I think A says it all; also, I forgot what I wanted to say regarding B; SEE?!?! you really do forget stuff.

And being the really bad parents that we are, we never kept any baby books on Ian so we could compare them (which they will need to get use to later in life anyway)- hell I can barely maintain a blog, so baby books are definitely out for me/us.

Anyway, back to Alexander - or as Ian now refers to him, "D'Alexander" or just "D'Alex" - we have no idea why he refers to him this way, but he does. And we of course say, "D'Alex! Not just a city in Texas anymore!" because we THINK we are so funny, but we know how lame we truly are. Um, hi! Where was I? Hey, is this thing on? So just flew in from Chicago..okay nevermind..

Alex has in the last two months, started commando crawling - the dragging of said self across the floor to get one self from one room to the next. He does this well and often just leaves a room forcing us to wonder where he has gone off to. He is now crawling, sort of. He pushes up onto his hands and knees and takes a few "steps" and then stops, makes grunty happy noises (remember how Arnold Horshak, from Welcome back Kotter, laughed? This is the noise he makes. If you do not remember Arnold Horshak this means you are way younger than me, or my parents! Hi mom! Hi dad! Google it - I am sure there is a YouTube of Horshak laughing). He rocks back and forth making thpppppt noises and is so proud of himself. Also, he is PULLING HIMSELF up to stand!!! YES! Stand! The smile that lights up that chubby little face is something else.

Also, he tends to fart when he does his "crawl" hence his other nickname Scooter McTooter. Have I ever mentioned Alex's farting? Probably a good thing that I haven't, let's just say, I gave birth to a frat boy..

AND! AND! aND! he has a tooth coming in, bottom front. He has always stuck everything in his mouth, but now he sticks everything in his mouth and uses that one tooth, which is hugely sharp by the way, I think he is growing a fang, and gnaws with it. He likes to pull himself up in his crib and gnaw on the rail. The crib, which was made for us by a friend because our house, before addition, was so small, a standard sized crib would not fit in the one room available for babies. And no one in the world wants to make a small crib because this is America dammit and everything MUST be huge and unwielding and take at minimum three very large guys to deliver- not to mention the removal of your front door to get it into the house.

Anywho, its a loverly crib, cherry stained and varnished. Alex seems to like the varnish as he gnaws on the crib every night before dozing off. I may try using the "BitterApples " spray that dog owners use to prevent Fido from gnawing on everything. Have I mentioned that Alex's lead test from his 9 month appointment came back fine? Meaning he is NOT full of lead, as we assumed he would be based on the fact he stuffs every inappropriate NOT MADE for infant toy he can find, into his mouth. He is Unleaded! HA! HAHAHAHAHAHA- its a gas! hA! HAHAHAHAHA..There is a reason I should never write when I am this tired.

Also Alex likes to pull himself up on our new fireplace hearth. The one that is roughly a foot tall and all granite with NICE SHARP edges everywhere. Babies, I have decided, have some ancient homing instinct that drives them to always try out their new moves in the worse possible location in your house. His little musical table, which is made for pulling oneself up and stand, and has buttoms when wacked plays tinny musical noises, is of course right next to him; but nooooooo. He scoots straight over to the most dangerous spot in the room. That's our boy! Scoots McToots!

I won't describe his bowel movements, because TMI is TMI - but suffice it to say, they are very very moving events. NO! HA! WAIT! HAHAHAHA...well for him. dramatic. Um, I think for the safety of everyone reading I should stop now and just post pictures of D'Alexander Salamander Scooter McTooter.. (yes, he will never really know what his real name is)

A favorite pastime (Ian did this as well around the same age) is crawling up onto the kitchen shelf and knocking down all the water bottles. Then crawling off with a self satisfied look. I liken it to when Godzilla destroys Tokyo Harbor- well without the fire and the people running away screaming in fear and the fact it was really just a guy in a big rubber suit and..yea,,, just like it

The Step or Climb Every Mountain

Getting into position- Where's my Sherpa?

Concentration

Hey! Its my big brother! Duuuuuuuude!

Playing blocks! Hey check out the thigh rolls!

And of course the money shot!

Whine AND Cheez

The Great Dinosaur Hunter (and his Daddy)

When people think of vacations, many folks think of exotic locales. Bicycle through Tuscany and visit vineyards? Explore the ruins of ancient Greece while partaking in the flavors of the Mediterranean? Rent a well appointed cottage on the Outer Banks or Cape Cod, only steps away from a white sandy beach, sea kayaking and crab cakes? Perhaps a safari in Africa, or a tour of the wine regions of France? Mayhaps you prefer an adventure in Alaska climbing over tundra and mountains to be treated each night with a gourmet dinner cooked on an open fire by your tour company?

Me, I lean towards the dusty, the musty and at best the kitschy. If there is a two lane highway leading to the Worlds Largest Ball of Twine, I am sooo there. The last real vacation Andy and I took was to the UK; we rented a car and drove around the southern part of England, on our way to Cardiff Wales to spend four days at the world’s Interhash. Yes. A hash. Lots of immature adults from all over the world, heading to Cardiff to run and drink beer (Educational note: the trail we signed up to run, was a 13-14 mile run that started at ONE castle somewhere in the Welsh country side; with a beer stop in the ruins of another castle, to end in Cardiff Castle- which is also a museum, open to tourists. So, there we were, about 50 or so hashers, all sweaty, and sort of stinky, singing obnoxious hash songs in the middle of the courtyard of historic Cardiff Castle, in the largest city in Wales; we were, to put it mildly, a sight to see. Oh, yea and drinking beer. On the Castle grounds. This is something one would never in a million years be able to do on say, the grounds of the National Mall; well at least not legally. Or without a permit and lots of red tape, but alas, no beer.)

Anyway, on our way to Cardiff I spied a brochure to this place: http://www.gnomereserve.co.uk/ . THIS was the place I truly wanted to visit. GNOMES! Forget the Roman baths, in Bath; forget Tintagel Castle the alleged home of King Arthur. I want CHEESE! Some wine with that would be nice to. Alas, and to my ever deep regret, we did not stop at the Gnome Reserve. We barreled on through to get to our hotel in Cardiff, so we could snag one of the limited parking spaces available to registered guests (nice hotel, in the middle of the city, with like 100 rooms and 10 parking spots.) A spot we scored, but we did not get to see the Gnomes. Sigh. Also apparently we missed something called the “Pixie House” as well. Dang. I’ve already said, should we ever have any money, ever again, we are going back to the UK explicitly to see the Gnome Reserve. Italian vineyards be damned!

So, by now you are saying, as you probably say with all my posts, um, Maria, do you have a point anywhere in any of this? Usually I have a point but tend to forget what it is after I present my introduction (I'd be an awful lawyer in this regard) But of course I have a point! I present to you tum ta dum! DINOSAURLAND! ROOOOOOOOAAAAWR!

Ian lets out a loud Roar!

This place was totally cheesey and had seen better days, but we cared not! There were educational signs along the way,which we ignored, who wants education when you have this?:

My new friend!

If I recall my B-movie history correctly, King Kong was technically NOT a dinosaur, but rather along the lines of Godzilla; a nuclear accident gone awry- or something. However facts should never, EVER get in the way, of good dinosaur display.

Note, King Kong has a small airplane in this paw. Too bad there wasn't a miniature screaming lady too!

"This is a Trisarotops," says Alex, "from the Crusteacean age..."

Speaking of cheese..

It was about 500 million degrees the day we did this. Which is perfect for Dinosaurs, as they like the heat (they did not do so well with that whole ice age thing).

After our prehistoric adventure at Dinosaurland, we continued on to Cumberland, MD, where we rode the scenic railroad. This was very nice, and, well, scenic! The train went to Frostburg; roughly a 45 minute trip at roughly 2 miles perhour.

Ian infront of a Camoose - this is what he calls it. And yes, that is Thomas in his hand.

Ahoy mate!

Thank god the passenger cars were airconditioned. Did I mention it was 500 million degrees outside? We were all big fat balls of sweat and felt pretty much like this at the end of the day:

Washingtonian moment: So this week I started a new job (same company, new contract) with the Air Force. I park my car in the same parking garage that Deep Throat met whathisface Woodward - here is a link, but you have to scroll down to #6 to see it. It looks surprisingly like, well, a parking garage! http://www.arlingtonarts.org/cultural_affairs/uncommonplaces.htm

So there you have it! Cheese! Trains! and a Brush with History. All in one blog. Can you stand the excitement? I sure can't..its almost 10 now and I am up waaay past my bedtime. So, toodles all! Untill we meet again!

The Anthropomorphic Train

My new goal in life is to create some heartwarming children’s story, featuring a heart warming character, who through heartwarming hi-jinks, teaches heartwarming lessons to all good boys and girls. Then, I want to trademark it, brand it, market it and sell the living bejesus out of it and make obscene amounts of cash. Which I will heartwarmingly (and merrily) carry in bucket loads to the bank. This, my friends, is the American way, and good for the economy (mine specifically).

A few weekends ago, we hightailed it to Baltimore to spend a “Day out with Thomas the Tank Engine”at the B & O Train museum (a really cool place even without the presence of Thomas).

TRAINS! We introduced Ian to Thomas the Tank Engine (the useless, er, useful engine) a while ago. Specifically, Gordon. Andy bought a DVD entitled, “The Best of Gordon” (not realizing that it was all Gordon all the time. Hey! Who knew? We were mere amateurs at the time.) Gordon is this annoying snob of a train who thinks he is better than everyone else. Gordon is constantly getting into “situations” because he thinks he’s better than most. My personal favorite is when Gordon gets stuck in a ditch. I like to yell at Sir Topham Hat (he’s the dude that owns the railroad; in old, original versions of the Thomas series, they called him “the fat controller” HA! I love it) “LEAVE HIM IN THE DITCH”- to which Ian just looks at me blankly. Already. My children. They don’t understand me!

Look! Thomas! In, um, person!

Fun Fact Digression: When the Thomas series first came out (in the UK) Ringo Starr was the narrator for the series. When they “redid” the series for the US market - apparently all UK series need to be “redone” for the US market,because..um, because..we speak a different language? Anyway, in the US Thomas became Shiny Time Station and was hosted by- wait for it- GEORGE CARLIN! This forever cracks me up. Before this , when I thought of George Carlin I always thought of children’s TV shows! This was brilliant! Also Alec Baldwin was also a narrator. For a children's show!! Irony, I love thee.

Further digression: I saw George Carlin back in the mid 90’s; he was playing at a little local movie theater right down the street from my apartment when I lived in Anderson, IN. I forget the exact cost for a ticket but it was something absurd, like $1. Let’s just say, George seemed a wee bit bitter about the whole thing..

But back to Baltimore. The museum was only open, that day for ticket holders to the Thomas event. Don’t even ask what we spent for tickets. Although it was far, far less, than say, going to a Bruce Springsteen or U2 concert. And there was an actual, LIVE Thomas the train there, pulling an actual train, that we actually got to ride on. The train ride was pretty tame. We went backwards for 12.5 minutes, then forward for 12.5 minutes. Our side of the train faced, um, what I can only describe as the underbelly of the city. Well let’s face it, train tracks, in cities were never advertised as being the most attractive sites of any city. If you lived near a train track you were most likely, from the “wrong side of the track”- Ian, looking out the window, got to see all the trash, tires, and junk that was strewn about. Also a Baltimore City Police car (he got seriously excited about that because emergency vehicles are another true love of his).

My theory on the police car was it was there to act as a deterrent to any modern day train robbers. Then again, being that this was Baltimore, maybe it was merely abandoned there. (Kidding Baltimore! You’re a nice city! Really!)

After the ride there were kid activities to do: moonbounces, trains to climb on, a gift shop (of course! More cheap plastic objects for the house!) face painting, etc. etc. The museum is housed in the “round house” a HUGE round building where the trains, back in the day, went to sleep, um, were parked between use. It has a large moving round do-hickie that, can move the trains from one track to another. They did not spin the big round do-hickie (this is technical train language) while we were there. But I am sure someone thought about it.

Also, they had children’s train tables set up with toy train tracks and trains (all Thomas and his friends of course). This way, small, overtired, children could push, shove, and fight over a chance to play with trains, on tables with toys that they more than likely ALREADY HAVE AT HOME. Its fun for parents to watch, knowing they spent all that money, drove all that way, just so the kid(s) can play with a toy they own. At home. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Suckas. We, I must admit, do not have the Thomas train ensemble at home. We do have wooden tracks and trains, but they are not part of any mass marketing empire. Also our train ensemble is not assembled. It is strewn all over the place and our trains tend to suffer dreadful and horrifying accidents pretty much all the time.

What 90% of the kids were doing about 100% of the time. Too bad there was no bier garten at this event. The museum would have made a fortune!

Ve vill have fun! or else!

It was a fun day. Really! I swear!

"Wait", says Alex. "You mean an anthropomorphic train is driving this thing? OMG! If I could only walk..or crawl, or something..I'd be outa here!"

The only non-fun part of the whole day, was the fact that Alexander and I were both sick. Alex had been running temperatures for three days before the event. He’d go from normal to high. We’d give him Tylenol, wipe him down with cool clothes and it would go down. We went to the dr’s twice (no to strep throat) and he had no other obvious infections. While we probably should have taken him to the dr. again on Saturday (the day of the Thomas event) we didn’t since he did not start the day out with a temp. and seemed pretty perky that day. (Poor little guy would wake up from naps covered in sweat). Anyway, by Sunday, he was completely normal. So yay! I was also well by Sunday, but on Saturday I was ready to throw myself under a train just to end my misery.

And after a useful afternoon of checking out All things Thomas, we usefully went home, where all of us, except for Andy who was driving, fell asleep in the car..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

This was not at Thomas, but at a vineyard the weekend prior. A barrel tasting. Alex did not find the barrels to be very tasty.

I prefer my wines a bit more milky

My face looks huge, yes?

Must always end on a cute note