Snoverkill- or what I discovered by spending (forced) quality time with my family

So, its now day 500 of our Winter Wonderland Blizzard Snowfilled Extraordinaire Experience..and OMG. To all you stay at home parents, I salute you. You have fortitude. You have guts. You obviously are more creative and have a better arsenal of arts and crafts than we do (you probably also have some substance abuse problems too)...and you probably haven't tried to "Work from-home-so-as-to-not-burn-through-all-your-saved-vacation-time-so-you-might-possibly- be-able-to-take-one-dang-gone-freakin'-vacation" this year AND try to keep two small children hellbent on destruction from, well, destroying things.

Philosphical question: which came first, the alcoholic beverage? or the snowstorm? Did one begat the other? Discuss.

So here it is, day, um..hmmmmm..5? I think, of SnowmageddonSnowpacolypseSnoverkillSnoMG 2010. Tuesday afternoon we saw the start of another storm; this time gale force winds were predicted. Gusts of up to 30-60 miles per hour were recorded around the area. I have no idea what the winds were at our house, but let's just say, no trees fell over, no power lines went down, our roof did not cave in due to the weight of the snow, and we had stocked up on beer and wine the day before (at a Whole Foods! I feel like such a yuppie, if that term even applies anymore!!). For all this I am thankful.

I have no new pictures as they'd be pretty much a repeat of previous: us in winter gear, us on sleds, us in snow Instead I have my pithy thoughts to share.

1. I do not have the patience, the supplies or the creativity to do origami animals, or any other such art project. If coloring with crayons and markers (all washable) on colored paper does not met your artistic expectations, stay away from our house.

2. (Andy is giving the boys a bath as I type this, and just discovered a pooh in the bath water. Alex is obviously guilty based on his laughter, although he is trying hard to pin this on his brother) which brings us to point #3..

3. Alexander is the reincarnation of John Belushi. We expect to spend a great deal of time being called into Dean Wormer's office when he is in college (for 8 years!)*
3.a. Exhibit A of the Alex/Belushi connection: While napping on the sofa Wed. late morning, I was awoken by Alexander, DIVING ON ME from the arm of the sofa, mosh-pit style. He had a wild gleam in his eye and was cackling like a madman (think: bwaaa haaa haa haaaaa).

4. The best thigh workout in the world is carrying a 30+ lb 2.5 year old up the sledding hill, over and over and over..and ohmygod my legs are killing me..

5. Knowing you are getting old when the moguls on the sledding hill, send you airborne and landing on your tailbone, repeatedly, REALLY hurts the next day -especially...

6. Learning how to nod pleasantly as you pass by the three hispanic gentlemen, arguing in the middle of the street. Possibly over the best way to get their plow unstuck from the snow.

7. Realizing those three men were likely out plowing your neighborhood and yes, you and your neighbors are doomed to shoveling out your street yourself.

8. TV is not bad. TV is good. TV keeps your children entertained during a blizzard.

9. Knowing that somewhere, somehow, someone knows you are letting your kids watch WAAAY too much TV because you are exhausted and have run out of ideas to keep them entertained so you can work from home...because the Feds pay their employees if the Federal goverment is closed, BUT NO ONE ELSE DOES..

10. Its impossible to really really get anything done, work related (as in office work) when your children are at home.

11. Amazed at how your husband can sort of tune out the whining/crying/fighting/destruction so he can do work at home.

12. Knowing your children are fully capable of entertaining themselves, but its MORE FUN to bother the parents who are trying to work from home.

13. Thinking, gee I have all this time at home I really ought to vacuum and dust (which are chores that rarely happen here- unless we have company- so come visit! the house is a mess!) and wondering at 8 pm at night what I did all day and how come neither of those two things ever were accomplished, especially on galeforcewindblizzard day?

14. Ian is Calvin (from Calvin and Hobbes)- We have one existential philospher and one frat boy on our hands..

15. Woody is looking forward to us ALL going back to whatever it is we do all day and giving him some peace and quiet.

16. Realizing that I really enjoy the cartoon "Martha Speaks" (its about a dog, that speaks! She developed language skills when, after eating a bowl of alphabet soup, all the alpabets went to her brain! Martha digs learning new words!)

17. Appreciating, again, late in life, just how clever the writers, actors and producers of Sesame Street really are.

18. Making cupcakes with little boys is fun and messy..not to mention full of sprinkles (everything baked in this house gets a heavy coating of colorful sprinkles from the boys)

19. Appreciating all the shoveling Andy did.

20. Wondering how bored our one neighbor was that he spent a lot of time during both snowstorms running out to 7-11 for something (probably coffee, since I don't think he slept at all. He drives a Nissan Armada; Andy calls it the "school bus". He could fit an Armada in the darn thing; without him we'd never be able to get off the street since he smooshed all the snow down).

21. Thankful that we were NOT one of the thousands without electricity for days.

22. Going on early morning runs either while it was snowing or after the snow. No people, no cars, no nothing. Just you and your thoughts (and dodging the occassional snow plow too).

23. Alex, after two days of forcing him to go sledding, began to WANT to sled and ENJOY sledding. We plan to use that therapy money for more wine! WOOHOO!

I think that abouts sums it up. We got a lot of mileage literally and figuratively out of our sleds and snow pants - best money I ever spent. However, I think we need a new winter sport. My tailbone is killing me. By the way, snow totals are ranging from anywhere from 40-58 inches. This is an area that typically MAYBE Might POSSIBLY see 6-7 inches of snow, IF any in a winter.. So, laugh if you want. I think the municipalities (including the federal government) did the right thing by closing everything down.

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* If you have not seen the movie "Animal House" I suggest you do. Note to self, good movie to watch during next snowstorm.

SNOWMAGEDDON! Day two

The scene infront of our house on Day 1. That's Andy's car..



Lee Highway, on Day 1

"Holy Guacamole!" exclaimed the Governor of Virginia when shown pictures of the snowpocolypse that hit the region over the weekend. After stating, "glad I live in Richmond" he announced that the two available snowplows were scheduled to hit the residential streets sometime "next election year or possibly if my polls slip".

The Commonwealth of Virginia (see! we are not even a state! We are a Commonwealth- bonus points if you can name the other 3 commonwealths in the US) is oddly set up. Here we have counties and cities. Cities are separate entities from counties. They are not even PART of a county. They have their own forms of government and taxes, etc. The Cities in VA are responsible for plowing their own streets. The Cities streets' are pristine. The counties however, are at the mercy of the Commonwealth. VDOT plows us commoners out. I don't quite understand this arrangement but am going to blame the nation's founding fathers for this since frankly they are not here to rebut it.

As I write this, it's 7 am Monday morning, so technically, I am writing about Snowmageddon: day two, on day three. But then who's counting? Speaking of day three, the Federal Government is closed, as is daycare, and every school within spitting distance. The only thing not closed is my office, because THEY NEVER CLOSE. I think my company needs to take on the US Postal Service's motton ("Through rain, through snow, through dead of night..yadda yadda yadda.."), because the US Postal service is also closed.

Day two: Sometime during the evening of day one, I remembered that my two library books were due that day. Looking out the window, I calcualted my odds of walking the mile and a half in 20 feet of snow, to the library to avoid the late fines, but decided I could afford the 40 cents. Sunday was a beautiful, blue sky, sunny day, so we dragged out the sleds, bundled ourselves up and headed out to the library to return the books. This ended up being a great idea, as we not only got out of the house, but we played in the snow, had lunch and went home the really hilly way so we could sled down streets.

Alex and I sledding down one of our streets. It is a really steep hill, but unfortunately it is a cut through street as well (hence, sort of trafficky). The street was plowed to one lane. On our first attempt, a Jeep was struggling it's way up- and stopped when it saw us on the sled. We got out of the way, but the Jeep was now stuck halfway up the hill. He eventually backed-up and drove off the other direction. We decided if, with a Jeep, you could NOT get up this street, you should NOT be out driving.

Heading out to the library- note that yellow-ish light in the background. They call it "sun"

We either need new outdoor apparel or new scenery. These pictures are beginning to look all the same.

Andy and boys! Yes. There is still snow out there! New! Exciting!

Swinging in the snow

We also shoveled out the cars. A few neighbors at the bottom of our street spent a great deal of time shoveling that part of the street clean. One of the neighbor's has a wife who is 8 months pregnant. Some of you may think he did this "just incase". But having been 8 months pregnant myself (twice) he did this likely to get away from a crazed, couped-up pregnant woman (I'm speculating; I never saw her; but I bet I am right).

Speaking of couped up, that evening, Andy and the boys designed this hot wheels track layout. The cars really moved down the stairs. This was of course, after the boys spent a half an hour dragging up various toys to toss down the stairs (balls, foam blocks, each other)- It reminded me of the old David Letterman episodes, where Dave, would go to the roof of a three/four story building (I don't remember the exact height) and toss things like watermelons, or tv's or whatnots off. At one point, I think the boys used their pillows to "sled down". Yes, safety is OUR first concern at our house. Also, note the buckets they are wearing on their heads.

Meet Big Monkey. He was stopping the cars as they flew down the stairs, hit the ramp and went airborne. I envision it only being a matter of a few years, when Ian takes his bike down the stairs and uses his little brother much the say way..

Alex and little monkey.

More snow is predicted for tomorrow..wonder how much more hot wheel track we have?

SNOWMAGEDON!!

Yes, the end is definitely here. The Snow storm of the century, that they spent five days warning us about, actually has happened. Its STILL happening as I type. I'd make snarky Facebook comments about it (Facebook; its like Twitter but with pictures!) but I can't get to Facebook from this computer. It (my computer) has higher standards than I do. The Washington Post Weather blog had a storm naming contest. I believe Snowmagedon has won,but snoMG! was a seriously close second.

So, the day so far:

6:30 am- open door to walk Woody. Realize door won't open. All that pesky snow.

6:35 am- Woody DRAGS me down the street in a foot and a half of snow, because he HAS to pee three houses down. Yes folks. A foot and a half of snow, and it was only 6:35 am; it is now 3-ish pm and its STILL snowing. Virginia, which declared a state of emergency a day and a half ago has already announced that if you live anywhere other than on a snow emergency route you are screwed and good luck until spring! Of course, the Governor used different words. Its gonna be a long long long week. I think "lucky to see a plow by March" was another statement, but don't quote me.

Wood and I walked to check out the neighborhood and realize it all pretty much looks like this:

The street in front of our house at about 7:3o am. Andy's car is the one on the right. Currently (3:33 pm), you can no longer see any part of the car. It is merely a lump in the snow

Our house, side view. That's our neighbor's fence.



The street at the top of our street. The footprints on the left our mine and Woody's. Someone had managed to drive up our street and down this one at some point, but the tracks were quickly filling in. This photo was taken around 7:30 am as well




Here's a shot of the main street out of our neighborhood. The red light in the distance is Lee Highway, which is a major thoroughfare. Again the tracks you see are mine and Woody's. Not too many folks out this morning !



So if you were lucky enough to make it up the main street at of our neighborhood, good luck getting on to Lee Highway! You were met with this more than two foot high wall of snow (again, this is 7:30-ish). This was created by the snowplows. I'm afraid to see how high that wall is now at 3:30 pm.

After walking Woody, I shoveled the sidewalk, took the snow off my car and marveled at how lovely it all looked and resigned myself to the fact that we were stuck. Hopefully no one on the block has some sort of house fire or medical emergency, there ain't no way a fire truck or ambulance can make it here. I also took a page from my "Little House On the Prairie" books, when realizing I could not shovel a path to the backyard, I merely stamped the snow down until I had a path. Let's hope we don't end up burning the furniture in order to heat the home.

9 am; if felt like noon, we ate freshly baked cinnamon rolls, bundled up the boys and trudged outside. Alex cried because it was snowing on his face. Alex also refused to get in the sled, go down the hill, etc. etc. I sense we are not helping him develop a great love of outdoor winter sports at forcing him to "go outside and play dammit" in the snow.

Everything is pretty much shut down in the DC Metro area. Public transit, businesses, even the post office announced it "ain't delivering nothing no how". Andy is out walking Woody. I expect them home tomorrow and they are only going around the block. You may not hear from us again until spring.

Us heading outside to play. May as well enjoy the snow. Alex refuses to get into his sled. I have to carry him all the way to the park.

Me n'Alex

Sled boy...

The boys are dismantling the downstairs so I must go!!!